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 The Consuming Darkness

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What do you think of it?
I like it
75%
 75% [ 3 ]
It's good
25%
 25% [ 1 ]
It's ok
0%
 0% [ 0 ]
I hate it
0%
 0% [ 0 ]
Why are you even writing?! Lol jk I don't know my anwer
0%
 0% [ 0 ]
Total Votes : 4
 

AuthorMessage
Angel of Darkness
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PostSubject: The Consuming Darkness   Wed Aug 12, 2009 11:42 am

That is the title of a story i'm making that may become a book. I decided that I should share the parts I typed on my computer. Tell me what you think of it.



With many tears falling from her eyes, she got up and ran. She didn’t know where she was going but she kept running. She realized when she was too tired to run she was at a cemetery. She looked around, puzzled.
“What? Why did I come here?” she asked herself.
She kept walking around, questioning herself on why she came here. All of a sudden something grabbed her. She tried to scream, but the smell of blood had silenced her screams. She got dragged, but she suddenly dropped to the ground. She looked up to see someone wearing a cloak and a hood in front of her.
“Wh-who are you?” she asked.
The guy didn’t answer. He bent down next to her.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Yeah,” she replied.
She looks down at his arm to see it was bleeding.
“Your hurt,” she said.
“What? This? Oh I’m fine,” he replied.
“Are you sure?” she asked.
“yeah, positive,” he replied.
“Alright,” she said.
She and the guy stand up looking right at each other.
“Who are you?” Crystal asked.




Her mom suddenly grabbed her and dragged her up the stairs painfully to her room. Crystal could only get dragged up. Her mom swung her door open and threw her into the room. Crystal tumbled across the floor as the pain worsened through her whole body.
“NOW STAY IN HERE!!!!!” her mom yelled.
“Y-yes ma’am,” Crystal replied.
Her mom slammed the door loudly, leaving Crystal in the pitch, black darkness. Crystal didn’t realize it, but someone was watching her from her window.
“Hmph. She doesn’t deserve this,” Steven muttered to himself.
As soon as Crystal got up, Steven climbed off the second floor and ran off back to his house.
"Ouch. Sheesh mom. You didn’t need to pull me by the hair,” Crystal muttered to herself.
She got up and sat down on her bed. She stared out the window, dreaming that she could run away. She sighed and laid down. As she as she curled up, she was asleep.

Very Happy


Last edited by Anime-Angel on Sat Aug 22, 2009 12:34 am; edited 3 times in total (Reason for editing : Stupid mistakes but this time, i just wanted to put in a smiley face! :D)
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Angel of Darkness
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PostSubject: Re: The Consuming Darkness   Mon Aug 17, 2009 5:47 am

btw, Steven in the book is my friend
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blizzard18
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PostSubject: Re: The Consuming Darkness   Thu Aug 27, 2009 1:59 pm

brill
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Angel of Darkness
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PostSubject: Re: The Consuming Darkness   Thu Aug 27, 2009 10:18 pm

Thanks I guess
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xXEliteTitan95Xx
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PostSubject: Re: The Consuming Darkness   Sun Aug 30, 2009 3:57 am

thats pretty good =)
soooo... how long have you been writing this story of yours?
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Angel of Darkness
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PostSubject: Re: The Consuming Darkness   Sun Aug 30, 2009 5:01 am

A long time but I've only done up to that abusive moment.
Thanks Daniel Very Happy
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blizzard18
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PostSubject: Re: The Consuming Darkness   Sun Aug 30, 2009 8:02 am

oh well fuck u anime i say its brill then dans says somthing its like praysing god well FUCK U
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Angel of Darkness
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PostSubject: Re: The Consuming Darkness   Sun Aug 30, 2009 8:07 am

WTF DUDE?!!! HE'S MY BEST FRIEND AND HE WAS BEING NICE! I ONLY SAID I GUESS ON THE THANKS TO YOU BECAUSE I WAS BUSY AT THE TIME! JESUS CHRIST! NO NEED TO YELL AT ME!
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Itsuki Koizumi
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PostSubject: Re: The Consuming Darkness   Sun Oct 11, 2009 3:13 pm

Brilliant, But check your punctuation a bit and try not to use the same words to often, But if you could Nail repetition in the right way, you could become a great storywriter.
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Itsuki Koizumi
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PostSubject: Re: The Consuming Darkness   Sun Oct 11, 2009 3:19 pm

Anime-Angel wrote:
WTF DUDE?!!! HE'S MY BEST FRIEND AND HE WAS BEING NICE! I ONLY SAID I GUESS ON THE THANKS TO YOU BECAUSE I WAS BUSY AT THE TIME! JESUS CHRIST! NO NEED TO YELL AT ME!

She's right Blizzard, no use crying over spilled milk.

Besides, she actually took the time to say thanks to you at all, even though you didn't even put a full sentence in your post.

It's better than her leaving you without a reply at all, don't you think?
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PostSubject: Re: The Consuming Darkness   Mon Oct 12, 2009 2:22 pm

i agree with you
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